In English (at least as it is spoken in the US) there is an idiomatic phrase “Talking Past Each Other.” The meaning of the idiom is that the people who are talking past each other are working from different premises and are arguing from different contexts. Often, those who are talking past each other believe that they are talking about the same thing, but they are at cross-purposes and are actually discussing two different points.
I bring this up, because this morning on the news I noticed a classic example of talking past each other that, if it was noticed at all by the reporter, went uncommented upon. I caught it and wondered if anyone else had.
The story in question is simply the latest in the long line of distractions by POTUS. It has to do with the story of whether the President called the grieving families of lost soldiers and what he had said. In the report, one side of the story, as reported by a Florida Congresswoman who was present when the widow of Sergeant La David Johnson. In her statement Congresswoman Wilson said that when the President called Mrs. Johnson he said that Johnson “knew what he signed up for, but I guess it still hurt.”
This morning, defending POTUS, I saw Kelly make the following statement:
“He knew what he was getting into by joining that 1%. He knew what the possibilities were because we were at war. And when he died he was surrounded by the best men on this earth, his friends. That’s what the President tried to say to the four families the other day.”
Now, do you see the point here? Kelly and Wilson are talking past each other. It is entirely possible that BOTH statements are completely true! It is possible that the president intended to make a caring and thoughtful call to the grieving families and console them. It is also possible that he made thoughtless statements because he went off-script and spoke extemporaneously.
We see it all the time with this president. (“…there were good people on both sides…” springs to mind!) He has a message to deliver and when he gets flustered, he ad-libs and says things that come-out all wrong. This is the man that a majority of the voters saw for what he was, and a well-placed minority saw as “refreshingly honest.”
As neither side actually recorded the conversation, what was actually said will remain a point of debate. But with the number of unfortunate wording choices that this man has made over the time he has spent in the public eye, I am inclined to believe that no matter how well he was advised by Kelly and others, whatever it is he actually said came-out with a completely (hopefully) unintended tone when it was received by the grieving widow.
Whatever the actual truth is, the media has a job to do and this is one example of their ‘false equivalency means impartiality’ stance on reporting is getting in the way of the discussion. They presented this story as if there is any contention between the two sides. There isn’t! Kelly says the President intended to be consoling. I am sure he did. I am also sure that he didn’t intend to sound like an insensitive lout when he told the people of Puerto Rico a few weeks ago that the devastation they experienced wasn’t a real catastrophe:
“If you look at the — every death is a horror, but if you look at a real catastrophe like Katrina and you look at the tremendous hundreds and hundreds of people that died and what happened here with a storm that was just totally overbearing. No one has ever seen anything like that. What is your death count?”
Let’s face it – POTUS is completely tone-deaf when it comes to expressing human emotion. He has demonstrated this time and again. So let’s quit pretending that what he “…tried to say to the four families the other day…” was actually what he DID say!
And Congresswoman Wilson, just for the moment, remember who you are talking about! Let’s quit pretending to be shocked or surprised by the heartless, unthinking, and insensitive things this man says! Anyone who would openly mock a disabled reporter for writing something uncomplimentary about him is liable to do almost anything that would hurt and offend someone else.
Wherever you are today I hope that you will be able to look past the petty and distracting behavioral quirks of the situation and look at what is deeper and more important!
Don Bergquist – October 20, 2017 – Lakewood, Colorado, USA
