One of the problems – one of the MANY problems, I should say – with having to leave my home at 04:00 to make it to the office by 04:30 to make a 05:00 conference call is that the people who are still drunk and/or stoned from the night before are still prowling the streets at that hour. To put it another way, I am unimpressed by the calibre of people you sometimes encounter on the streets of Denver, Colorado before 04:30.
Take, for instance, what happened to me this morning on my way into the office…
It was shortly after 04:10 and I was driving north on I-25 coming-up on the exit for Colfax Avenue when a small sliver car (perhaps a scion?) came raging up behind me, and then cut across the gore strip to get into the exit lane, cutting me off in the process and nearly clipping my left-front quarter panel.
It was only by slamming on my brakes (and – although there is no definitive evidence that it had any efficacy to the action, no matter how personally satisfying – laying-in on the horn) that I avoided being in a collision. I thought that was it and that there would be no further incident except that they had gotten into an exit lane behind a truck and therefore, I was able to pass them as I made the right onto Colfax.
Then, at the light at Colfax and Osage, I hear some (drunk? stoned? Idiotic!?) person (woman?) screaming from the next car “YOU [EXPLETIVE DELETED] WHERE DID YOU [EXPLETIVE DELETED] LEARN TO [EXPLETIVE DELETED] DRIVE!?”
It was a nice morning out… The low last night was in the low sixties and I had the windows open, listening to NPR News and taking in the morning air. When this torrent of effluent started to assault my ears.
“You [EXPLETIVE DELETED] old [EXPLETIVE DELETED]! Watch where you’re [EXPLETIVE DELETED] going! What, are you [EXPLETIVE DELETED] blind!?”
The source of the verbal effluent was a person leaning half out of the car in the next lane. I looked over at her (?) to assess the situation and was about to point-out that her companion had changed lanes without signalling, going through a gore-strip to illegally exit the interstate when I realized that there was no point in even engaging. So, I simply reached-up and closed the moon roof. And as I was rolling-up the windows I looked over again, she was simultaneously trying to lean out the window to yell at me AND roll-up her window.
“I’ll [EXPLETIVE DELETED] come the [EXPLETIVE DELETED] over there and [EXPLETIVE DELETED] kick your [EXPLETIVE DELETED] [EXPLETIVE DELETED]! You [EXPLETIVE DELETED] old [EXPLETIVE DELETED]!”
In retrospect, I wonder if the driver wasn’t trying to calm her down by shutting the window as she was yelling at me – that would explain a lot. At least, that is the explanation I am going with, hoping that he realised he had made a mistake and that his companion was making it worse by acting like a total prat.
It is how I get through my day!
Wherever you are this morning, I hope that you’re having an excellent day!
Don Bergquist – September 12, 2017 – Denver, Colorado, USA
